3 Things to keep in mind…

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A great, realistic and practical blog on how we can help each other when we have 3 crazy kids!

http://happilyevermom.com/2014/12/15/coming-home-from-work-exhausted/

 

3 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN COMING HOME FROM WORK EXHAUSTED

What do you do when you are coming home from work exhausted?

It’s something that our family talks about often.  While I’ve been figuring out this whole stay at home mom thing, my husband has had to figure out the whole work full time and support the family financially thing.  I don’t know how many times we’ve seen or heard this stereotype, but it kinda goes like this: a working parent comes home {exhausted} to a house full of crazy kids and a VERY exhausted partner who can’t wait to finally have help in the house. Sounds cliche right? Well, it’s a cliche for a reason…because it happens. To our family? Yep.  A lot? Not necessarily, but it happens and we’re starting to learn what to about it.  That’s why my husband wrote this post today about the ways he rethinks coming home from work exhausted.  He feels like it really boils down to three simple things…

Written by my husband, Michael:

I work a “typical” 8-5 job and Katie “stays home with the kids,” which translates to “she gets them to school, feeds them, takes them to doctor’s appoints, organizes playdates, runs errands, and answers meaningless texts from yours truly.”

When I come home from work, I’m often pretty tired of focusing all day long.

Sometimes I want to just sit down on the couch, grab my proverbial beer (sometimes it really is beer), and turn on the game. Because of this, I can get crabby when Katie asks me (understandably) to help finish dinner, or when my kids jump on me and want my undivided attention.

WHEN THAT HAPPENS I TRY TO REMEMBER THIS:

  • I work hard for our family. I do not work hard just to come home and relax (right away – that comes after the kids go to bed, am I right?!); I work hard so that I can come home to a happy, well-provided for family. This is my time to experience what I work for.
  • My wife works hard for our family. She has a harder job than I do and one that doesn’t come with an hour-long lunch break, a nice paycheck, and opportunities for promotion. My boss is fantastic about telling me “thank you” and “job well done” but it’s my job to do the same for my wife.
  • My kids work hard all day long. I know what you’re thinking: at this age, they play all day. True, but playing is hard work, physically and mentally. But what I’m really thinking about is the experiences they have to work through. When L is dealing with conflicts in preschool, she is working hard on her emotions and interpersonal relationships, and when M is running around crazy before naps, he is working through his feelings of exhaustion and reconciling that with his desire to stay up and spend time with his mom. They work hard, too, and I can give them something when I get home: attention from their Dad and time to play together (we base most of our parenting on this book <–affiliate link to what helps us on the tough days), who they haven’t seen since he through a plate of scrambled eggs in front of them before heading out the door in the morning.

When you are coming home from work exhausted, remember that you are getting home at the absolute toughest time of the day.

We are all tired (you, the kids, your partner, the pets…) and we all are struggling with different needs.

HERE’S 3 THINGS THAT WE ALL TRY TO REMEMBER:

  • Have patience and understand that we are all tired from working hard all day.
  • Communicate about what exactly we need from each other, whether it’s help with dinner (for Katie), ten minutes sitting on the couch when getting home (for me), or a quick book or play (for the kids) – it’s okay to say what you need.
  • Love each other by forgiving one another for being tired, snappy, and more “crazy” during this time of day and hugging each other anyway – you can never get enough of those, right?

What’s most important to our family is that we are role modeling to our kids that it is okay to be tired, grumpy, snappy, and overwhelmed because the skill we want them to learn (and that we are still practicing ourselves) is how you handle those feelings.

 

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